Saturday, 16 March 2013

Wrinkle Cream

Your elbow is wrinkly.  

I realise that elbows, by their very design, are supposed to be wrinkly, but you need to be self conscious about this.  I've just seen a commercial for a product that softens your elbow wrinkles.  

I'm already beginning to blame the fact I'm almost permanently single on the fact that my horrible elbows haven't been treated with some sort of filler or wrinkle reduction cream.

How could I have been so naive all this time?

Wait, what if my elbows start to develop crows feet around the wrinkles?  What should I do about that?  

I'm a big fan of natural remedies rather than surgery so I'm going to consider never straightening my arms whilst wearing a t-shirt, so that people will never see the full extent of the shameful granny-like elbows I'm sporting.

At least, that's what I'll do until the next big paranoia the advertising agencies attempt to stir up.  I hear this season moist eyeballs are out and Adams apples are in.  Great news if you are a man with a glass eye but terrible news if you are a woman well functioning tear ducts.