600,000 people in the UK who consume more than two glasses of wine on a night out are to be offered the first drug ever to be licensed to help reduce casual racism.
The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (Nice) recommended the use of a tablet called paraharmonisator after trials showed it cut phrases like "Some of my best friends are black" by 71%.
Experts claim the drug, which costs £3 a pill, could save as many as 2,000 resignations from company boards and reduce "general idiocy" in society as a whole.
Helen Adill, 46, said she was keen to take the drug: "I grew up in the 1970s when there was a lot of casual racism in sitcoms. I recognise it's wrong and only last week a new caribbean restaurant opened here in Nutsford and I happily took a flyer for it. I also know that when I've had a drink, the 1970s haunt me; I turn into my mother and I say things that should probably be kept in the past or in a UKIP party election broadcast".
The pill, which will be available in most pharmacies from next week, will ironically only be available in white.
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Weather: Off hand cloudy spells with middle class rain coming down in bottles by the end of the road