Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Songs That Could Be About Breaking Wind

There are a lot of high-brow theories about lyrical content that can be consumed on the world wide web but very few concentrate on the very real possibility that performing artists are having a laugh at our expense.... by writing lyrics about breaking wind. The humble trump is, I suspect, what many stars are singing about.

Here are three examples:

One Direction - Live While We're Young

Hey girl I’m waiting on ya, I’m waiting on ya
Come on and let me sneak you out
And have a celebration, a celebration
The music up, the windows down

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Zephyr Song

Did you meet your fortune teller
Get it off with no propeller
Do it up it's always stellar
What a way to finally smell her
Pick it up it's not to strong - for you
Take a piece and pass it on

Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more than ever

Ed Sheeran - Let It Out

So let it out
Let it out, now
I let it out
I let it out now, now

Any more?

Monday, 22 October 2012

Nursery Rhymes In Pop Songs

Fashion goes in cycles.  Stylistic trends come and go.  The latest trend in pop music is referencing nursery rhymes and it's more prevalent than you might think.

In Nicki Minaj's "Starships" she uses a clip of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and gets the audience to delightfully fill in the "how I wonder what you are" lyrics.  It's a lovely throwback to the days of childhood from which her hardcore fans have barely just escaped.

Robbie Williams has just unveiled his new song "Candy" which contains a bit of "Ring-a-ring-o-roses"in it.  The rhyme,  believed to be about the Great Plague of England in 1665, is known by children all around the world.  It brings instant familiarity to Robbie's song.

Are there more examples, Lloydie?

I'm glad you asked.  Yes.  I have searched high and low to find the following examples which appear to have been overlooked.

The nursery rhyme "Itsy Bitsy Spider" appears in a Bono song called "Sanctimony" which is about a fictitious prisoner of conscience trying to climb up a water tower in which he is imprisoned.

The nursery rhyme "Little Miss Muffet" is featured in Katy Perry's song "Empowerment" which is about a woman with arachnophobia.

And the nursery rhyme "London Bridge Is Falling Down" features in the Sugababes song "We Hate Each Other".

If you spot any others, do let me know.

Friday, 19 October 2012

Halloween Is Coming - UGH

Some religious folk think it's the work of the devil - and they may just have a point.

When you examine Halloween what exactly is good about it?  Apart from candy.  Here are some signs that Halloween may really be a bad thing.

1)  People dress up in costumes.  These are invariably dreadful.  From the "we've put a sheet over him to make him look like a ghost" to the really bad masks you get in certain greetings card shops, it's a pretty poor show.  I really don't want to be opening my door to someone wearing a Prince William mask.

2)  People put candles in pumpkins.  I mean really?  Did no one teach you fire safety as a child?  This is a poor idea and I suspect the local fire brigade agree with me.

3)  Fake cobwebs.  We try to get rid of the real ones so why would we want fake ones?

4)  Children holding you to ransom in exchange for Chupa Chups.  This is terrible parenting.

5)  Someone will write a blog about how it has become over commercialised and lost its true meaning

The only good thing about Halloween is that we can revisit Tracy Jordan's "Werewolf Bar-mitzvah" from 30 Rock.

"Boys become men - men becoming wolves"

Thursday, 4 October 2012

Big Bird's Next Move

If Mitt Romney gets elected US President, he wants to sack Big Bird.  He said as much in the presidential debates last night.

What on earth would Big Bird do under a Romney presidency?  Where would he go?  What would be his next move?  I have some helpful ideas, just in case he is disposed of.

1)  Worm stealing.  He's not the early bird who catches the worm, but our pal BB could be the big bully bird that steals the worm from the early bird.  He's much larger than your average bird and thus commands a greater physical power.

2)  Birds-eye tours of major cities.  Fly the friendlier skies with Big Bird.  Clearly a winning option for him as he has room for a good number of families on his back.

3)  Being Christmas Dinner.  Although we don't know what type of bird he is, I suspect Big Bird would feed a very large family at Christmas, with plenty of leftovers too.  This is, however, pretty much a one-time gig.