Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Ice Bucket Challenge To Raise Cash For Key Workers

The success of the Ice Bucket Challenge has now been adopted by the Government to help raise money for nurses and teachers.

"This is the sort of selfless fundraising that exemplifies the Big Society and it is the ideal way to raise money to pay essential workers in the UK" said the Prime Minister before pouring a bucket of ice water over his head and nominating George Osborne and Katy Perry.

Critics of the Prime Minister were quick to point out that his offer to "pay for one nurse for a day" wasn't an affordable thing for most people on an average wage.  Mr Cameron dismissed this accusation by saying, "Paying for a nurse is just one thing you can do.  You could always pay their training fees or  pay for the building of a new school.  Small gestures but they make a big difference when you add them up."

However not all politicians are fans of the Ice Bucket Challenge.  Home Secretary Theresa May has objected to the lack of decent quality ice to put in gin and the leader of the opposition Ed Milliband has complained that the charisma he froze in ice twenty years ago is in danger of thawing due to the ice shortage.

In other news:

Hungry Hungry Hippos demand a more varied diet than 'just marbles'

Jazz and folk music outlawed in Luton

The 1980s call to say "Actually we don't want your retro references back.  You're welcome to them"

Weather:  Gluten free with a chance of lactose