Reports of people who had entered the official 'pregnant with food' stage were rife across social media on Christmas Day. By December 29th the NHS was struggling to cope with the number of food babies being delivered and several hospitals have declared a state of emergency.
Derek Rose (34) from Leatherhead in Surrey went into labour at 4.15am yesterday and was transported to his local hospital but had to wait several hours in agony because the labour ward was so full.
"I realise I should have taken precautions" said Mr Rose, with a tube of haemorrhoid cream in his right hand. "I had some fun on Christmas Day and didn't really think about the consequences. I only realised I was expecting a food baby when I woke up this morning in agony. My wife knew exactly what was happening and called an ambulance."
NHS staff are reminding people ahead of their New Year celebrations to eat in moderation and always use an antacid tablet straight after the fun if you think you may have had too much sausage.
In other news:
Polly Toynbee to wring in the new year with her hands
Person in museum pretending to be interested in art actually thinking about taking salsa classes
Peterborough Services voted "most romantic spot" by town planners
Weather: A nightmare dressed as a daydream with occasional mascara run.