Monday, 2 November 2015

Halloween isn't scary - it's sucky

I've never been keen on Halloween.  Some Brits say it's a dreadful imported American festival and get very snooty about it; that's not my thinking.  Some people don't like the prevalence of figures from beyond the grave and believe it to be against their religion; I've never had that issue.

For me it's a simple reason - I hate all the costumes.  Brits call it "fancy dress", our American cousins call it a "costume party" and yet whichever way you refer to it, it strikes way more fear into my heart than the thought of a night in with David Cameron (even though Dave can afford expensive wine).

As soon as one drops this bombshell there are plenty of people who accuse you of being no fun or not wanting to make an effort.  Well, I was at a wonderful Halloween party at the weekend where I did my very best to be a lot of fun.   I wasn't in costume, but the absence of a mask didn't stop me from having a great time with some incredibly pleasant people.  Yes, I had actual fun without the need for a superhero character or blood soaked shirt.

I would argue that costumes make you and your experience less fun.  For a start, almost any costume is going to be less comfortable than your regular clothes.  Given parties are meant to be pleasant occasions, it baffles me that some people would want to trap their undercarriage in spandex while restricting their breathing in a latex Justin Beiber mask.  It seems like a rather specialist, fetishistic way of having fun.

Secondly, there's the process of getting to the party in your outfit.  Unless you are hosting, it often involves public transport, a cab or walking.  Some of us don't want the whole world seeing us dressed up as the 1980s version of Pam Ayres (which to be completely fair to Pam, isn't that different from the current version).

Finally, there's the expense.  Don't tell me you've ever re-used a Halloween costume.  You use it once, put it in the back of a cupboard and then forget where it is when you next "need" it.  That Dalek costume is never going to see the light of day again - not even if you had a Tardis to go back in time to retrieve it.

I have no wish to be a party pooper.  I just want to make parties more fun.  The amount of gin I've seen spilled because someone can't drink through the slit hole in their mask is too scary for words.  Let's put an end to it.